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Joke of the Day

"Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?"" ""Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."""

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"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"If I had a dollar for every time I heard ""grow up!"" I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort."
"[break-in] BURGLAR: [cracks safe] COP: Not so fast, kiddo BURGLAR: [cracks safe more slowly]"
"NFL Players + Fireworks ="
"Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station? It is a day to be tankful."
"Watching ""Annie"" all I could think was, ""That redhead kid is going to make a hideous adult."""
"What's grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement? A wolf. I threw in the cement to make it hard."
"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."
"It's not God I dislike, He's cool. it's certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way."