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Joke of the Day

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."

"Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other's shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban at the San Diego zoo."

"A dyslexic man... A dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"Q: What is 68 to a blonde? A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile Which is a pretty big word for a 9 year old"

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"

"What do you call a knight made out of clay? Sir Amick"