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Joke of the Day

"Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on."

"What did Spock find in the toilet? The captains log!"

"If you are what you eat Then that explains why I'm such an asshole"

"What happens if you play a country song backward? You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up."

"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"

"The worst Jewish joke ever... An old Jewish guy comes up to and old Jewish lady and says... ""So what's your number?""..."

"Called my wife a whore I called my wife a whore once during sex. She made me pay for that afterwards."

"I worked at a Chili's when I was in college, which is so embarrassing. I usually just tell people I was a stripper."

"This Christmas, I got a new car for my wife I thought it was a great trade."

"German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999."