176273

Joke of the Day

"*Hires life coach* ""Ok, the first thing we have to do is get you off this couch and get you moving!"" *Fires life coach*"

"I bought a shower curtain on Amazon once and now every time I log in Amazon acts like I'm the guy who fucking loves buying shower curtains."

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because it ain't murder if they had it comin'!"

"How does a baby ghost cry? ""Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"""

"Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with"

"How I pissed off my girlfriend during sex. I pissed on her."

"I feel like Trump is like Hitler Terribly misunderstood."

"What do you get if you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"When you hang around pieces of shit You're bound to land in a bowl of piss"

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."