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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors? A chicken sedan."

"Had phone sex then I got hearing aids. EDIT: then"

"Girls, get your abortions NOW in case the Republicans win"

"If you're suicidal and experience time backwards, then you're in luck! The only way you can commit suicide is by getting in some pussy."

"The student and the teacher. JACK: ""Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"" TEACHER:"" Of course not. "" JACK: ""Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."""

"I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test. It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do..."

"Did you hear about the Holy Cow? Some say he was legend-dairy."

"This sexist farmer called me a cow when I'm male. That's bull."

"You know the vagina of a fish? It's a fish hole."

"Friend: Your three kids are so well behaved! Me: Well .... there used to be four."