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Joke of the Day

"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"

"I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball."

"What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying? ""Aw man, that's a drag."""

"I smoke pot because I have a very serious problem. I have this medical condition where I don't realize how good poptarts taste. Source: Sarah Silverman"

"It's really cold this year in Motown... Three Degrees... Four Tops"

"What's worse than a chauvinist man? A woman who doesn't know her place."

"I once knew this incredibly meticulous man from Taiwan. He was a real Taipei personality."

"I hope that one day I can be as proud about anything as my cat is about his asshole."

"I like my women how I like my exams... Curvy."

"Your dating profile said you were a night owl.....eat this mouse."