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Joke of the Day

"I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball."

"How do you make an egg roll? Push it."

"What do you call a female clown? April Fools"

"Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back."

"A man was undressing for the nurse behind a curtain He asks, ""Where do you want me to put my clothes?"" She says, ""On top of mine."""

"What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. (Credit to my uncle)"

"When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?"

"How do you say virgin in German? Guten tight ( )"

"Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him ""go big or go home"", he only had one option."

"A secretary asks a favour of her boss. She asks ""can I borrow your Dictaphone?"" ""CERTAINLY NOT!"" he replies indignantly... ""You can use your mobile like everyone else!"""