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Joke of the Day

"Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since LAST Friday."

"how much does a deer cost? its ""radyr"" - its funny because in Denmark radyr means two things - ""very expensive"" and ""doe"""

"The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003."

"A man once offered me a job selling fog, but I said no Looking back, I think it was a mist opportunity."

"Airport bathrooms are home to the loudest, angriest, most unapologetic farts known to man."

"According to my google history, I spent most of last night trying to buy a llama."

"Bought that new Mac Book Pro today. Apparently they crush up 100 Japanese children's retinas too make the display. Or something. I zone out."

"(Q)..... What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? (A)..... The rooster clucks defiance."

"Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day Give a woman a fish and you're 'that weird fish guy.'"

"The US Treasury announced Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 So there's going to be a whole new bill in the black market."