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Joke of the Day

"The US Treasury announced Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 So there's going to be a whole new bill in the black market."

"When my cat has an accident on the carpet, he hides to escape responsibility. It's a, ""shit and run""."

"Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back."

"QUESTION: What is honeymoon? ANSWER: That brief span of time between ""I do"" and ""You'd better!"""

"I'd submit a joke about the World trade center building But 9/11 Americans wont get it."

"I don't mind the NSA reading my Word documents. It means that at least someone will read the first draft of my novel."

"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."

"Don't click this, it's a dick 8===D"

"ISIS commander to troops ISIS commander: Do you guys know what the leading cause of goat rape is? Troops: No, what? ISIS commander: Sexy Goats ;)"

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."