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Joke of the Day

"What does a pirate call his idiot son? A retarrrrrd"

"I have a UPS joke Sorry it was delivered it to your landlord's off property leasing office ten miles down the road."

"I'm starting a new movement that encourages people to take things one step at a time Unfortunately, it's taking a long time to catch on."

"When I run the media, ""blue"" and ""red"" states will be renamed ""Crate & Barrel"" and ""Cracker Barrel"" states."

"He called my girlfriend a whore. So I called him an ambulance."

"I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green."

"A teacher asks her class what noise a pig makes... Lil Tyrone raises his hand and says ""Freeze mothafucka!"" I guess there aren't any farms in Detroit."

"How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake? It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question."

"If 2 wrongs don't make a right, what do 2 rights make? An airplane."

"Maybe leave yourself in a hot car with a window open one inch for 15 minutes while your dog runs into the store"