112008
Joke of the Day
"Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate."
Next Joke
"I didn't really want to take my friend's true or false test But he wouldn't take no for an answer"
"My brain hurts. That means it's getting stronger. Right?"
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."
"""dad, what does extravagant mean?"" idk son. why don't you ... [i turn to my wife using $100 bills to light the fireplace] ask your mother"
"Desperate, I pull a goose from my bag and throw it screaming into the bully's face. Gertrude, my biggest and angriest goose, destroys him."
"A grasshopper walks into a bar So the bartender looks at him and says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" To which the grasshopper replies, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""
"The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike."
"I can't believe rattlesnake warnings are called rattles and not cautionary tails"
"i cant feel my face when im with you / please untie me / nose is itchy"