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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my Girlfriend says she's going to ""hit the sack"" I instinctively cover my balls just in case."

"How Britons shower. The same as you, dummy. First, we get nice and wet. Then we get the tea."

"I would like to learn more about frequencies But whenever I try to measure it, it only Hertz"

"Me: nice car Friend: yeah 400 horsepower Me: that's like 7000 ducks Friend: what Me: what"

"What did batman say to robin? Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. ""Get in the car, Robin"" Source http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/"

"What does a feminist doorbell say? Stop-oppressing-me"

"I've lost interest in dating I decided to tell my therapist that archaeology just wasn't my thing anymore."

"""Who are you wearing?"" -red carpet interviewer at the Serial Killer Awards"

"Have girl problem? Feel bad for you son. I live in Russia. Have 99 problems. Bear ate car. Wife ate bear. Son ate wife. I eat son now?"

"Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries."