111995

Joke of the Day

"How do you call it when an Irish person goes out for drinks? A bargain"

"Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead."

"I needed the loo, and only a wishing well was in sight. Well. Shit."

"My wife woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on her face! I love Sharpie markers."

"What did C say to E? She wants the D."

"As a person with alzheimers, all my punchlines are..."

"Doc: So you're not sleeping? Me: nah D: how much water do you drink? M: a glass a day D: Alcohol? M: 4 glasses D: Coffee? M: Yes, please"

"Why do most men die before their wives? Because they want to"

"A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away."

"What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."