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Joke of the Day

"Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up."

"Why do all polish names end in SKI ? They can't spell TOBOGGAN !"

"Chicken to turkey: ""Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky with us it's any Sunday."""

"If God was a mathematician God: Homosexuality is a sin! Human: But why? God: Cos"

"For all of us singles out there... Happy Ballantine's day!!"

"FACT: You are having a birthday because Chuck Norris decided to let you live another year!"

"What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals? For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving."

"Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century? Neckbeard!"

"Game: ""Would you like to try the tutorial first?"" Me: ""No."" *minutes later* ""How the f*ck do you play this?"""

"I used to have a Viagra addiction. It was the hardest part of my life."