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Joke of the Day

"How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows. LA cops just beat the shit out of the room for being black in the first place."

"Happy Groundhog day, everyone!"

"I got caled into jury duty today... That's going to result in a well hung jury."

"Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings."

"What's a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !"

"Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there."

"I got a handjob from a blind girl last night. She said ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."". I said ""Nah, You're just pulling my leg.""."

"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition.. ...And later discovered that he had seriously misunderstood the objective."

"Wife: [looking out of window] Go and talk to our son. He's outside looking forlorn. Me: [goes outside] *points to grass* it's there u prick"

"The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said ""Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."""