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Joke of the Day

"I'm officially unsubscribing from r/Jokes I'm sick of all the dumb puns, I'm quitting cold turkey Happy Thanksgiving people"

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"I fall more in love with you each day, well, except yesterday. Yesterday you were really freakin' annoying."

"How do you know Satan's barbeque ribs are good? Cos they're trident tested. #noapologies"

"[Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not"

"What is a female hockey player's most vivid memory? Her first period on the ice."

"I bet Rihanna will be on the cover of Chris Brown's greatest HITS CD."

"*spits out animal cracker* This doesn't even taste like hippo."

"If the wrong women weren't so tempting, then I'd probably be married to the right one by now. @MaleHonesty86"

"Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page..."