215561

Joke of the Day

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"Imagine your relief if you had a dream your daughter was dating a DJ then woke up & remembered she was dating a ferris wheel operator."

"You can now experience skydiving without a parachute! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"Optometrist: Any questions about laser eye surgery? Me: How big of lasers will my eyes shoot? Him: Me: Him: How much money do you have?"

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill."

"What did one brick say to the other? Guess who's gettin' laid tomorrow!"

"Do you know why the Cybermen are the best Doctor Who characters? [deleted]"

"I entered 10 puns into a contest last week. Do you know how many won? No pun in ten did."

"Why does a VC always enter a room backwards? To keep an eye on the exit"

"Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going"