197814

Joke of the Day

"""Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade."""

"I want to die of natural causes like being stabbed to death by a rainforest."

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?"

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cape to wear and whoosh noises to make."

"Two Snowmen are standing in a field. One snowman turns to the other snowman and says, ""Does it smell like carrots to you?"""

"I donated $4 to Bernie's campaign I gave someone reddit gold."

"What is the best day to wear an asshat? Sunday, because it's so holy."

"Whats a Porn Stars Favorite Drink? 7up in cider."

"Hey girl is your dad in jail... ...Because if I was your dad, I would be"

"The day we decided such footwear would be called ""flip-flops"" was not our most creative moment."