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Joke of the Day

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"Got any spare change? No, Im an athiest. Can you give me a hand? No, Im an athiest. Hows the weather? Sorry, Im an athiest. - Athiests"

"Two antennas got married The wedding wasn't great but the reception was amazing!"

"What did the scat fetishist say to his wife before divorcing her? I've had enough of your shit."

"Welcome to Condescending Club. Even an idiot would know the 1st rule. If not, you want paaaatronizing club. You know what that is, riiiight?"

"How is a teacher like a hooker? They're both pretending that they're enjoying it."

"If H2O is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P"

"What's the difference between a troll and a goblin? I never come home to find my wife troll up some guys nuts!"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? If you slap the mosquito it stops sucking"

"Him: you're terrifying Me: awww you're just saying that"