11160

Joke of the Day

"The Longest joke in the world (sorry if re-post) it's totally worth it! [7 Page Joke](http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2a5xwx/truthmafia.com/archives/1554)"

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60, she's 97 today... and we don't know where the fuck she is."

"ant-man: im here to stop u bad guy: [pulls out a can of Raid] ant-man: motherf"

"What did the sign on the closed brothel say? Beat it. We're closed"

"I'm pretty certain I'll never be a serial killer, since I don't have a middle name."

"I spend 90% of my time online waiting for password reset emails"

"Man is like spider.. .. bound to have sticky hand when on web!"

"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."

"[2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT"

"I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction The girl at the desk (checking the calendar) ""ok, let's see if we can get you in.."" I said, ""exactly."""