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Joke of the Day
"My penis and I are really good friends but... We've never really seen eye to eye"
Next Joke
"Caught my wife cheating with the neighbor today so I smashed our big screen tv onto his head. That will teach them to prewatch the jeopardy dvr and try to outscore me without me knowing!"
"I live life by 3 rules: 1- Get ripped. 2- Stay ripped. 3- Live in denial so that life is bearable."
"AGE 18: There's someone special out there for you! AGE 28: You'll find them one day! AGE 38: It'll happen! DEAD: Just be patient!"
"What's black on the bottom and white on the top? Society."
"At the Apple store waiting for a snotty Genius Bar guy. Thinking about how a ""crowbar"" has nothing to do with crows either."
"What's Mario's favorite fruit? Peach."
"I didn't see a single Olympic wrestler use the sleeper hold or figure four leg lock..."
"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."
"are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?"