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Joke of the Day

"A girl asked her brother If he could help her move her stuff to her new house and he refused and she asked him why He said he couldn't be her brother and assister too"

"Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa"

"Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life."

"Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card."

"My secretary came into my office today and asked if she could use my dictaphone I said no, use your finger like everybody else."

"Man I hate shower sex... Its hot, crowded, and i can never fit my junk into the faucet."

"How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? About 9 months."

"Why is Peter Pan such a terrible pilot? Because he Neverlands"

"What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon? dis counts!!"

"So Russia has been running out of resources lately... I guess you can call them the Red Scarce."