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Joke of the Day

"Chinese officials are trying to decide whether to spend money on a school or a prison. Finally one of them says: - What are the odds that some of us will go back to high school?"

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss tumblr."

"I just bought a device that makes my car 95% quieter! It fits perfectly over her mouth."

"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."

"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"

"I submitted a penis joke once The mod tagged it long..."

"ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts."

"I'm fed up of all this racism. I think we should all come together & unite as one...blacks, whites, Asians...and gang up on the Arabs."

"In order to save space, Ricky Gervais & Seth McFarlane are both one guy now. Frankly, it's been a long time coming"

"What did OJ say to Nicole just before he killed her? *Your waiter will be with you in a moment, ma'am*. (was reading an OJ post in another sub and remembered this one.)"