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Joke of the Day

"In order to save space, Ricky Gervais & Seth McFarlane are both one guy now. Frankly, it's been a long time coming"

"I had a second stomach surgically attached so I could finish my fries from Five Guys."

"My parents treat me like a god They dont believe in me"

"""Please don't put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends"" Every baby"

"My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring"

"What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high? The electrician knows where the ground is."

"The new pope sure lives up to his religion. His roamin around all over the place!"

"Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How shitty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?"

"1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys."

"This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth. If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter."