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Joke of the Day

"There was supposed to be a BLM march today with up to a million people Although it's strange that I only count 600,000."

"No, cough syrup, you're not grape flavoured. Have you ever tasted a grape? You taste like death and the tears of small children, not grape."

"Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !"

"Dating is like vitamins If you don't go outside much you won't get the D."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't go apeshit and stalk me for years when I put a couple of loads in it."

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves."

"[first time ever watching a movie] How do these people keep moving from one location to another so fast"

"I ran the dishwasher today , but i couldnt keep up."

"why did the boy drop his ice cream he was hit by a bus"

"Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey."