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Joke of the Day

"How does Megatron get away with raw-dogging it? Decepticondoms."

"The shovel was a ground-breaking invention."

"I want that ""Damn you are still together?"" Relationship!"

"[HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't ""contract"" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it"

"There's nothing like finding a screw on the floor to make me wonder for the rest of the day about what's going to fall apart and kill me."

"So I called my boss this morning. I said ""Hey boss, what's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" He replied, ""I don't know. What?"" ""I won't be coming in this morning."""

"A German man walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The barman asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies: ""No, just one, thank you."""

"Witnessing a person attempt to use a word that is beyond their comprehension is like watching a dog eat a bee."

"Wanna hear a joke The UN"

"If I were a movie villain I'd make a bomb where the wires are all one color."