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Joke of the Day

"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"

"What do you call the underwear of someone experiencing nocturnal emissions? Dreamcatchers"

"Wrong Hole! - a love story"

"wife [text] I'm so proud of you for sticking to your diet me [can't respond because there's powdered donut on my fingers]"

"Be yourself. Except you, cauliflower, you have to pretend to be other food."

"FIFA is a nonprofit. That's it. That's the joke"

"Do you know that horrible feeling of guilt when you eat all your kids candy? Me neither."

"thanks, but I'M TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STOP IT"

"why do giraffes have long necks? because they have smelly feet!!"

"Rooster and donkey If you have a donkey and I have a rooster and the donkey eats my rooster, what do you have? Two pounds on my cock in your ass!"