111253

Joke of the Day

"[ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time"

"What do rodents do after dinner? Gopher a walk."

"How does everyone have so much to say? All I want to do is eat and stare at stuff."

"Past, present, and future walk into a bar It was tense."

"A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes.."

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"I don't know what it means to ""find your better half"" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot."

"If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing."

"Have you heard the one about the misaddressed letter? You might not get it."

"I tried gay phone sex last night, but I'm not sure I'm doing it right. I was the giver and it was the receiver."