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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what it means to ""find your better half"" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot."

"Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one but it may take him/her more than five years to do it."

"The issue of cannibalism and the afterlife A cannibal dies. He moves on to the afterlife. He goes to a bar. He drinks a spirit. He says ""sorry, I needed seconds.""."

"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."

"How many downies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Potatoe"

"I have a lot of wisdom in regards to oral hygiene. I'd consider myself a flosserpher."

"Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one... He's never gonna give you Up."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ? Candy cow jump over the moon !"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry potter can get out of a chamber"