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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what it means to ""find your better half"" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot."

"If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window."

"Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone."

"What do you call a surfer who loves Muhammad? A radicalized Muslim braaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"it's ridiculous to estimate the size of a man's weiner by looking at his hands or feet. just ask him to show you. if it's small, he won't."

"Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control."

"Q: What's a blonde's favorite color? A: A light shade of clear."

"LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless."

"People often complain and belittle alternative religious organizations like atheism and scientology... but at least atheism is a non-prophet organization."

"The 1st to apologize is the bravest. The 1st to forgive, the strongest. The 1st to forget, the happiest.nnThe first to kill the other, WINS."