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Joke of the Day

"I kicked a French guy in the balls... Once, I kicked a French guy in the balls. As he clutched his groin and sank to the floor, he whispered in pain, ""wee wee"". So I kicked him again."

"Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb."

"apparently syriza gained a lot of support for a NO vote with a online meme campaign beware of greeks bearing GIFs, i say."

"Ray Rice hitting his wife on the elevator... Was wrong on so many levels. And I'll show myself out."

"Is it alright to kiss a nun? Yeah. As long as you don't get in the habit."

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"Did you hear about the restroom for pencils? It's for #2 only."

"In hell, you have to listen to chicks fully explain a movie, scene by scene."

"The orthodontist says I'm doing a ""super job"" wearing my retainers. All this really means is that I'm able to put things in my mouth."

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"