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Joke of the Day

"Turkey shoots down Russian jet it's too soon to tell, but insiders report his actions were in hopes of receiving a presidential pardon before thanksgiving hits."

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross Country."

"What do you call two crows sitting on a branch? Attempted murder."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"Q: What's gray and comes in pints? A: An elephant."

"Ab Muscles: You're having ANOTHER cookie? Brain: Yep! Ab Muscles: You're just never planning on seeing us again? Brain: Nope!"

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers please!"""

"Pedophile almost wins marathon... He just came in a little behind."

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."