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Joke of the Day

"I don't quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don't even like 15 people altogether in my life."

"For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be."

"What do you call the operation that turns a woman into a man? An addadictamie."

"Visitor: Wow you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them? Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot."

"Sieved flour to rule them all A pinch of salt to grind them Cup of milk, then mix them all add an egg to bind them -Lord of the Onion Rings"

"My grandmother always wanted to be in a gated community So that's why I chose to have her buried at the cemetery when she died."

"Q: What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument? A: A tuba toothpaste."

"Why are black fathers always missing? Because white cops always shoot them for no reason."

"The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."

"I always thought Apple was filled with giant assholes, but boy was I wrong Turns out they're really just tiny jack-offs"