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Joke of the Day
"We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive."
Next Joke
"imagined Beyonce taking a dump and it ruined my morning"
"Does killing time damage eternity?"
"BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future."
"What happened to the man that lost his left arm and left leg His political beliefs are in line with the conservative section of the political spectrum"
"In honor of Earth Day I'm going to forage for my own food. Does anyone know what a Dorito plant looks like?"
"Today, I started on my second million dollars! I gave up on my first."
"What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-five year olds? There's twenty of them."
"Whats the best way to pick up chicks Lean over and pick them up with your hands."
"Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation."