1110

Joke of the Day

"have to stop saying ""how am i going to kill my way out of this one"" everytime there is trouble going on, or at least not out loud"

"One time a friend said that he ""ain't never had no nothing"". It remains the only time where I have heard someone use a quadruple negative."

"Future Headline: ""Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence"""

"They were called Jumpolines until your Mom got on one."

"how do you know when your sister is on her period? your dads cock tastes like blood."

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"I'm not going to masturbate for the rest of the year Three more hours to go."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar."

"Jerry Seinfeld is at Best Buy. ""We've got a great deal on TVs today"" the salesman says. ""What's the deal?"" Jerry says. The Best Buy explodes"

"But seriously folks, what is Joe Walsh's best album?"