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Joke of the Day
"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships..."
Next Joke
"Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does."
"ME: i'm nervous WIFE: don't be. just be confident [later] BOSS: so do you think you'd be right for the job ME: *confidently* no"
"I'm on a cruise this week. My humor didn't go over very well on the observation deck, nor did what I left behind on the poop deck."
"Due to the weather, I was able to use the words ""wet and slippery"" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv."
"The greatest trick the Devil ever played is where he touches my chest and says ""What's that?"" and I look down and he flicks my nose."
"Speed dating (Don't say anything embarrassing) ""So do you ever eat raisins and then later poop rehydrated grapes?"" (DAMMIT!)"
"How to lose an argument with a woman: 1) Argue."
"I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said... ""Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."""
"What did the broke zombie amusement park say to the wealthy vampire golf course? I just need to get fundead."