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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) A friend of mine started dating a girl with special needs. Everyone is saying how sweet it is but I think he's fucking retarded."

"Two boys were arrested... Two boys were arrested -- one was drinking battery acid, and one was eating fireworks. The authorities charged one and let one off."

"What do you give someone who is about to tear up? Tape"

"*throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don't think ""flipping the bird"" means what you think it means."

"Broke Up with my girlfriend today It's now shattered, so we'll watch something else tonight"

"Two psychics pass each other in the street.. One says to the other: ""You're doing fine. How am I?"""

"FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian"

"Did you know they buried Steve Jobs in an orchard? Yep. He's still pushing apples."

"[birdwatching] Ah, let us behold the majesty of the Bald eagle. And let us acknowledge the social awkwardness of the Combover eagle."

"reddit's ""letterbox"" is sorta like a ... wordbank."