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Joke of the Day

"What does a cow use to solve math problems? A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun."

"this is your brain *an egg* this is your brain on drugs *egg in frying pan* this is your brain skateboarding *egg on a skateboard* haha nice"

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts? It was a leper con."

"Bro: Dude, is this YOUR Shakira CD??? Me: What? No....it's my wife's..... Hips: No.... It's his... Me: Shut up Hips!"

"A Mexican, a Jewish, and an American walk into a bar... Bartender asked, ""is this a joke?"""

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, said Papa Bear. Someone's been sleeping in MY bed, said Mama. Why don't u share a bed?! cried Baby Bear."

"How many police chefs does it take to beat an egg None, the little brown bastard accidentally fell down the stairs."

"The very first joke I ever learned as a kid. How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A Buccaneer. (Wah, wah, wah, waaaaahhhhh)"

"I'm good at 2 things: interviews and first dates... Turns out they're a bit alike. One gets me a job that blows, the other gets me a blowjob."