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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of fight club is don't hit hard I'm very sensitive"

"Last night a movie theater was robbed of $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal and a pack of skittles."

"Have you heard the one about the bed? No? That's 'cause it hasn't been made yet."

"What is a gay boxer's favorite drink? Fruity punch"

"I named my penis Richard That's long for Dick Hey - at least it's not another Turkey joke."

"music joke As the Cellist in our string quartet, i can't help but feel the other musicians are looking down on me. sorry about that, i will just be getting my coat."

"[2 paintings talking] ""hey man, guess what im doing this weekend?"" please dont say it ""JUST HANGING!"" i wanna move to a different gallery"

"I once knew a man with two monocles. He made made a right spectacle of himself."

"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"

"I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse. -LA Ink."