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Joke of the Day

"Mom mom! Is light edible? Because I just heard dad tell our neighbour to turn it off so he could shove it down her throat"

"How do I like eggs? Ummm...in a cake!"

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A Baboom!"

"I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them"

"PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear"

"What did the cannibal order at the bakery? Cinnamon buns."

"What do you tell a pornstar right before their video to pump them up? Get your head in the game."

"Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1. She's silent. 2. She's yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you."