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Joke of the Day

"Science fact! There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump."

"So a vegan sits down at a bar... I only know that because he won't shut the fuck up about it."

"What kind of bus can cross the ocean? A Columbus."

"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."

"MOPEDS AND FAT LADIES What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one."

"What is worst then a repost???"

"In case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm surrounding my house with treadmills."

"Chicken what do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce... Chicken sees a salad"

"I find it Hillaryous that the presidential candidates this year are so horrible. I wonder if either of them will pull out their Trump card to guarantee that win though."

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."