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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Finding half a worm in it. And what's worse than that? The holocaust"

"Catch a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish (read the rest as Groucho Marx) and you'll never see him on the weekends."

"Interviewer: What is your greatest strength? Me: I have a nap for dealing with conflict. Intvr: Do you mean ""knack""? *pulls out pillow*"

"Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album? It didn't make much of a splash."

"If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP."

"Listening to music can be dangerous... Some of the notes are sharp."

"I don't make jokes I just watch the government and report the facts."

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."

"I once was lost, but now I'm drunk, was blind but now, I pee."

"Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished."