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Joke of the Day

"Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes :("

"Why were the people in the twin towers so upset? They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane"

"What was the name of the Mongolian warlord's favorite cow? Angus Khan"

"Secret: Something which is told to one person at a time."

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi's worst nightmare."

"I'm addicted to soap But I'm clean now"

"The people working at Petco.... ...hate when you refer to them as pet-ophiles."

"Stop with the blind jokes ... I don t see the point."

"What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee? Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee."