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Joke of the Day

"A Rabbi, a lawyer, and a Priest are on a sinking ship. The Rabbi says, ""Save the children!"" The lawyer says ""Fuck the children!"" ... The Priest says, ""Do we have time?"""

"What was Beethoven's favorite food? BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)"

"What's the difference between Barack Obama and a mark on a gift? One's a President and the other's a pressie dent. i'll see myself out."

"Wife: Valentine's day is right around the corner. Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart."

"Yesterday I was just a dude in a hoody whispering Black Sabbath lyrics to a goat. Today, I am the leader of a petting zoo cult."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !"

"I'm 0 for 3 in getting people to try a spoonful of my homemade peach jam on the subway platform this morning. Some days are challenging!"

"The secret to becoming a millionaire... Is by being a billionaire, then starting an airline."

"A tad bit racist... How do you starve a black man? Put his food-stamps next to his work boots."

"What are some good deli related jokes? I need some good jokes about deli and or the meats and cheeses sold in them."