109969

Joke of the Day

"Two flies were sitting on a piece of poo. One farted. The other said 'do you mind? I'm eating.'"

"Laughter is the best medicine. Depression is the best food. Happiness is the best animal. I don't know since we're clearly making stuff up."

"My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential... Then he pushed me off the roof"

"What did one ocean say to the other? I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep."

"I wish my penis felt the same way my nose currently does. Because then it too would be raw from having been blown all day."

"My girlfriend says that I've got the body of a guy half my age. Which would be a nice compliment if I wasn't 22."

"I drank tequila in a cave... ...it was a shot in the dark"

"When will you be bioavailable? Because you are my drug and I want you in my body..."

"Why did hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill"

"I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms."