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Joke of the Day

"I wish my penis felt the same way my nose currently does. Because then it too would be raw from having been blown all day."

"How do you confuse a blonde? You paint yourself green, and throw forks at her"

"Why do short people laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Is amazed how I go to bed with normal hair and wake up looking like a beat up version of medusa. Am I fighting crime in my sleep? Wtf."

"PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear"

"What do you call a galaxy full of Brazilians? The Milky Hue."

"I thought removing a snail's shell would make it faster... Turns out, it only makes it more sluggish."

"If puns were people, where do all the bad ones go after they die? www.reddit.com/r/jokes/new"

"People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?"

"Been watching television without eating. I feel like I'm working."