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Joke of the Day

"What did the dyslexic traveller say when he arrived at an unknown station? Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died. Also; what is Forest Gump's password? 1Forest1"

"Although many forms of punctuation are thought to be antiquated, I still believe we live in a hyphen-nation. I still believe we live in a hyphen-nation."

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"

"A programmer goes to do groceries. His wife tell him: -- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen. He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread. -- But why?, she asks. -- They had eggs."

"Hey girl, are you a derivative function? Cuz I wanna be tangent to your curves."

"A patatoe is walking down a hallway When suddenly he Stubbs his toe and screams ""OUCH I stubbed my potaTOES"""

"Yo Mama so ugly, she has to use prescription make-up!"

"What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster? - Grandma monster"

"At least in 4 years we'll be able to look back at this election with 2020 vision."