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Joke of the Day

"I played the word ""mature"" in a game of Scrabble. My friend played ""immature"" and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over."

"If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!"

"Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek? 'cause nobody would be looking for them."

"What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror."

"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."

"What the difference between /r/gonewild and /r/jokes? Not all the posts on /r/gonewild are about pussy, anal sex, blowjobs, and pedophilia. Seriously, /r/jokes, get your shit together"

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them."

"Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender."

"Paul Walker was in Eight Below... ...and now, he's six below."