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Joke of the Day

"When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls? ...When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good."

"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"

"Accidentally tweeted the typo ""iLettuce"" a few minutes ago and now Apple fans are lining up in front of my house."

"It's actually pretty tough to write a Reddit joke that insults Trump supporters. Because they probably can't read it."

"Why are condors such efficient fliers? All their luggage is carrion."

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."

"Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!"

"What is the best way to fuck a girl with no arms or legs? Throw her in a lake."

"Please don't joke about 9/11, my uncle was on one of the planes. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Fed Leapord."