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Joke of the Day

"FYI: I guess the goal of bobbing for apples is not who can drink all the water."

"Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher? He only had one pupil."

"Me: Screw you, Tuesday! Tuesday: I have a boyfriend."

"*my casket slowly begins lowering into the ground* me, knocking from inside: ""Wait, I have to pee."""

"Why doesn't a chicken coop have four doors? Because if it did it would be a chicken sedan."

"I'd completely forgotten I had a boomerang It just came back to me."

"Want to talk about rape? No? That's the spirit."

"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."

"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people"

"What says ""Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!"" ? A dog with a hair lip"