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Joke of the Day

"Bob the Builder sacked! The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.. They say they can no longer trust any children's Tv star who claims to be able to fix it!!"

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"What do you call a fat, smelly hermaphodite who gives blow jobs under the bridge for a nickel? Well, YOU call her mom."

"Why shouldn't you hang out with zombies? They make rotten friends"

"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"

"What's a mexicans favorite sport? Cross country"

"Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!"

"Another knee-slapper by my 8 year old brother. Which president likes doing laundry? George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart."

"Today I called the rape help line... But apparently it's just meant for the victims."

"Baby talk is confusing, desperate to find out if the baby was in pain I had to do it I had to ... ... Google gaga."